Jeff Goldblum
No `Big Chill’
July 1, 2009Fear not, Jeff Goldblum is alive and well.
But not long after the news hit of Michael Jackson’s untimely death, it was announced via Twitter wildfire that Mr. Goldblum also passed away, while filming in New Zealand. Mainstream media picked up the story, but eventually Mr. Goldblum’s rep, Stan Rosenfield, alerted the world that the 56-year-old actor was among the living (and nowhere near New Zealand).
Seems the whole thing was a prank that has also been pulled on Harrison Ford, George Clooney and Natalie Portman. Still, Mr. Goldblum took it all in stride and with good humor, and even appeared on “The Colbert Report” to “confirm” he was deceased.
“No one will miss Jeff Goldblum more than me,” he said. “He was not only a friend and a mentor, but he was also, um, me. Jeff Goldblum’s performances combined the muscularity of Brando, the pathos of Streep and the musky sensuality of a pride of baboons. One former conquest raved that sleeping with Jeff Goldblum was like – quote—being caught in a flesh storm with a 90 percent chance of satisfaction—unquote. That’s verbatim.”
Glad to see Jeff hasn’t lost his life or self-confidence.
Michael Jackson
Startin’ Somethin’?
June 26, 2009Wouldn’t you know that there’s a Jewish angle to the Michael Jackson saga? (Besides all of the lawyers.) Turns out the late King of Pop’s ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, is a member of the tribe.
Who knew? (Maybe not even Michael.)
Reports continue to float out there that Ms. Rowe, 50, an L.A. native, and the Gloved One’s family are tangling over who will gain custody of the offspring that resulted from Debbie and Michael’s short and terribly odd union, Prince Michael Joseph Jackson Jr., 12, and Paris Michael Katherine Jackson, 11.
Ms. Rowe says she will not battle the Jackson clan’s matriarch, Katherine, over custody. “I know I will never see them again,” Ms. Rowe told Britain’s News of the World, alluding to her kids. “I was never cut out to be a mother—I was no good.”
But hold on: Ms. Rowe’s lawyer, Iris Finsilver, recently told the Associated Press that the ex-dermatological nurse will likely seek custody.
What’s the deal?
Debbie and Michael met in the ‘80s when Jackson attended the clinic of skin specialist Dr. Arnold W. Klein. They married in ’96, not long after the superstar’s marriage to Lisa Marie Presley ended.
But Ms. Rowe insists that she and Jackson never consummated their relationship. She says she was impregnated with sperm from an anonymous donor. “I was just the vessel,” she said. “It wasn’t Michael’s sperm. … I got paid for it, and I’ve moved on. It’s just like I impregnate my mares for breeding. It was very technical.
“I was comfortable with him. I offered him my womb. We were close enough that I knew I could offer him that, so I did. It was a gift.”
Their relationship ended, according to Ms. Rowe, when she couldn’t have kids anymore.
“He didn’t want anything to do with me. He took the kids,” she said. “The settlement was written up, and he just wanted me to be quiet.”
In ’99, Ms. Rowe signed a contract waiving her parental rights after she and Jacko split up. She later contested the contract, one of her reasons being that she feared her kids (who are Jewish according to Jewish law) were exposed to Nation of Islam teachings through their Rwandan nanny and some of Michael’s sibs, including Jermaine. (Not that we love the Jew-hating NOI, but those were her biggest fears about what her kids were exposed to?!)
An appeals court ruled in Ms. Rowe’s favor in ‘06, but the custody battle was eventually settled out of court. (Natch.)
So two of Michael Jackson’s alleged kids are Yids? How appropriately bizarre for a man who once had to publicly apologize for being caught on tape calling Jews “leeches.”
Meanwhile, the mother of Jackson’s third child, Prince Michael Jackson II (aka, “The Dangled One”), 7, has never been identified. (Our money is on Fran Drescher.)
Lisa Kudrow
Gal Pals
June 26, 2009Some old friendships just never die (even if you sometimes wish they would). Take for instance Lisa Kudrow, who recently got a little help from her old bud from “Friends,” Courteney Cox Arquette. (And this is five years after that hit show went off the air.)
The former Phoebes and Mon – both now 45 and still lookin’ good—will reunite next Monday night, July 6, when Ms. Cox Arquette makes a guest appearance (sans husband David Arquette) on Ms. Kudrow’s online comedy series “Web Therapy.”
Lady Courteney plays Serena Duvall, a psychic who is freaked out because she no longer receives her powerful visions. (BTW, Ms. Kudrow’s character, Fiona Wallace, is a therapist who treats patients via webcam.) Serena even makes a humorous aside about Patricia Arquette, Courteney’s real-life sister-in-law who happens to play the title character on the hit NBC show “Medium.”
“Good God,” Serena rails at one point about the seemingly endless Arquette clan, “how many of them are there, really?”
Other guests on this season’s “Web Therapy” will include Victor Garber (“Alias,” “Titanic”), Steven Weber (“Wings”) and Alan Cumming (“Spy Kids”).
Marissa Jaret Winokur
Surrogate Stress
June 26, 2009Tony Award-winner Marissa Jaret Winokur has big news for future moms: you don’t have to actually be pregnant to get zaftig.
Ms. Winokur, 36, host of the new TV weight loss dance show delicately titled “Dance Your [Expletive] Off,” says she put on baby weight when she was expecting—but not in the physical sense.
Ms. Winokur is a survivor of cervical cancer, and she and her husband, TV writer Judah Miller, decided to have a child via a surrogate. They now have an 11-month-old son, Zev Isaac Miller.
Ms. Winokur, who portrayed Tracy Turnblad in the Broadway version of “Hairspray,” gained 25 pounds during and after the pregnancy. ”[It was] total stress,” she said. “You don’t actually have to carry the baby to gain weight.”
She did exercise, mind you. “When I wasn’t working, if I had an hour [and] my husband wasn’t home from work yet, I’d be like, ‘Oh, I’m gonna run on the treadmill,’” she said. “[But sometimes] you have an hour and the last thing you wanna do is get on a treadmill.”
Her show, which premieres on Oxygen next week, is a combo between “The Biggest Loser” and “Dancing With The Stars,” she said. “I hosted the whole season and didn’t lose a pound,” Ms. Winokur said. “ I’m like, `Oh my God, this is insane.’”
Etan Goldman
G Whiz!
June 26, 2009For his new CD titled “Foundation,” Baltimore-born rapper Etan G (aka Etan Goldman) got a little help from some unlikely sources—Paul Shaffer, of David Letterman fame, music producer Cedric Samson and Rami Jaffee, keyboardist for Foo Fighters.
”Foundation” takes a decidedly universalistic approach. “My music connects to people of all ages, backgrounds and religions, even those who don’t generally like rap music,” said Etan G. “People love the positive messages in my songs as well as the live instruments and clean lyrics that aren’t usually incorporated into typical rap songs.”
Mr. Shaffer collaborated with Etan G on a song titled “Generations,” which the band leader had commissioned as a tribute to his synagogue for its centennial.
“I saw Etan G perform, and I was immediately intrigued by him,” said Mr. Shaffer. “I asked him to work on a cute idea of mine—a rap duet featuring Etan G and a 91-year-old congregant. It came out so well that he decided to use it on his album `Foundation,’ and I was thrilled about it. Etan G lays it down.”
Obviously, so does the congregant.
Matthew Broderick
Twice Nice
June 26, 2009“I’m very happy. I don’t know what else to say.” That summed it up for Matthew Broderick in telling People magazine about his joy over his new twin daughters, Marion Loretta Elwell and Tabitha Hodge Broderick. (Ouch! Where do these Hollywood names come from?)
The twins arrived early for Mr. Broderick, 47, and his wife, Sarah Jessica Parker, 44, but the couple was well-prepared for them and have their nursery ready.
“They absolutely adore [their 6-year-old son, James Wilkie Broderick], so the two kids who came into the world are going to be very happy,” said the couple’s friend, actor Gary Beach. “Matthew loves to devote time to his son, and two … girls? That’s wonderful. It’s really going to be exciting for them.”
The twins were born in the eastern Ohio town of Martins Ferry (pop. 7,200), with the help of a surrogate. “This is a big item for our town right now,” raved Martins Ferry Mayor Phil Wallace, who plans to send a present. “I’m sure everybody in town is happy for them. This is happy news!”


