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September 26, 2008
Focus: Faith
This Rosh Hashanah, we look for God.
Maayan Jaffe
Staff Reporter
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Emunah is the pure and complete belief in God. Emunah is understanding there’s a God in this world and He pumps our hearts, massages our lungs. Emunah is recognizing we have a relationship with God. It’s not a religious thing — you can be Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, secular, whatever and have faith. It’s a Jewish word. You’re Jewish. You were given the Torah. You are God’s and God is yours.
This week is Rosh Hashanah, and Baltimore’s synagogues will be filled to capacity, the Jewish last-ditch attempt at repentance and connecting. But Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur shouldn’t denote the end of our relationship with God. Rosh Hashanah is about the beginning — the creation of the world. If we reconnect with God on Rosh Hashanah, we can keep that relationship going throughout the year.
What does it mean to have a relationship with God? What is belief in God? What is faith in God? What is the point of belief or faith?
Said Rabbi Elizabeth Bolton of Congregation Beit Tikvah: “Having faith gives you a sense of being held, security.… People that have emunah are plugged into the awareness that we are loved by an unending love.”
Not everyone feels emunah all the time — sometimes we are closer to God than others. Such was the case with Pikesville’s Ruth Schneiderman, who returned to God three years ago.
‘Back’ To God
A shooting pain, sharp and piercing, awoke Ruth Schneider- man at 3 a.m. on a sticky Sunday in June 2005. She grabbed for her back, “I’m dying,” she said almost out loud as she reached to phone an ambulance. With sirens blaring, she arrived at the hospital in agony. The hospital was crowded and the doctors were overly busy. Ms. Schneiderman was sent home with Motrin and the diagnosis she pulled a muscle in her back.
“I remember just wandering through the hospital carrying my purse — and my purse was so heavy — and I was saying, ‘How could they have sent me home?’” Ms. Schneiderman recalled.
Her son was visiting Israel. Her two daughters lived out of state. Only her elderly mother was home to care for her, a mother with dementia for whom Ms. Schneiderman was supposed to tend. She had nowhere else to go, so she went home, and the pain slowly worsened, her fever raged and her body weakened. Unable to walk, or even urinate, she collapsed two days later by her couch and the medics pulled her out of her Milford Mill home delirious.
By the end of the week, the doctors knew they had made a mistake the Sunday prior; Ms. Schneiderman suffered from a spinal infection — potentially life threatening — and was paralyzed from the waist down. Her life was to be forever altered.
“I was a person who took care of everybody — my kids, my parents, my dogs. I paid the bills, did the shopping. I was like this superwoman. I wouldn’t ask a person for anything. Now, if I needed water, I had to ask someone else to get it for me. It was horrible,” Ms. Schneiderman said.
She lost all her money to medical bills, sold her house, her car. She was subjected to neglect and mistreatment, moved around from senior centers to rehab centers, and even developed a stage-four bedsore. Suffering, she turned to God.
“One time I needed to use the restroom and I called for help. It was three hours later that the nurse came. At times like this, I just talked to HaShem. I learned to ignore my stress and just talk to HaShem,” Ms. Schneiderman said. “The key to emunah is we have to use it every day. It’s not like, ‘Oh, I have faith in God, I dealt with that on Rosh Hashanah.’ Emunah is an everyday tool HaShem gave us to know and understand it is His world, He loves me, and everything is going to be OK.”
Today, Ms. Schneiderman lives minute-by-minute. As she slowly regains minimal use of her leg muscles, she is in excruciating pain. She acknowledges she lost a lot, but feels she also gained an amazing relationship with God.
“I probably have a higher quality of life than some able-bodied people, because my life has meaning,” she said. “We like to think we create everything and are in charge, that we’re invincible. It could all change in a blink of an eye. What are you going to do then? You have to have emunah. Emunah is knowing HaShem is kind and there’s a reason for everything.”
E munah, said Rabbi Chaim Landau of Ner Tamid, Synagogue, reinvigorates us when we are faced with life’s challenges. Overcoming trials and tribulations, he said, can increase our emunah.
“The strings and arrows of mis-fortune that get you when you least expect them help your emunah to become strong. Through belief you are given the strength to recuperate, recover and, in turn, become more spiritual,” he said.
Rabbi Moshe Hauer of Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Cngregation put it another way. He said the greatest challenge people feel as they go through difficulties in life is this sense of just being tossed around randomly in a meaningless and directionless world.
“Emunah,” he said, “is the awareness that things are not random and the trust we are not being tossed around, but being carefully moved about.”
The rabbi said a person with emunah will have a lack of bitterness and the ability to take on life situations as they present themselves.
Emunah, Rabbi Hauer said, is not something you can simply turn to in bad times. A Jew needs to have emunah all the time; for a person to start grappling with faith in a challenging time might be “too little too late.”
All Jews have the capacity for emunah within them. Rabbi Shlomo Porter of Etz Chaim of Baltimore said deep down on the unconscious level of the Jewish soul there is emunah, but sometimes we struggle or cover it up. Rosh Hashanah, he said, is an excellent opportunity to pull the emunah from deep in our souls into our minds, our hearts and then into our actions.
“The essential part of the Rosh Hashanah [liturgy] is, ‘I want to be your tool in this world, I want everyone to know who You are, I want Your Godliness and Your goodness to be reflected in this world,’” said Rabbi Porter. He said if one of us finds emunah and acts accordingly, others, too, will come to know God.
Living Faith
“I was raised in a traditional Orthodox home. All my life I would have said I believe in God. But all of a sudden, my uncle, he was a young guy, 40, just died of cancer and left his family and I kept saying, ‘Why, why, why?’” recalled Leora Pushett, director of education at the Center for Jewish Education.
In her 20s at the time of the death of her uncle, her world was turned upside down. For days, she remembers, she was “simply distraught.” She said she couldn’t understand why such a thing would happen.
“All of a sudden, however, it dawned on me there is no one on Earth that can answer the why question…. And at that moment it was clarified in my mind — there is some agenda, some context that is greater than my capacity to understand. God knows what He is doing.”
Ten years later, Ms. Pushett’s mother became ill and passed away. The battle wasn’t there anymore, she said; “You know what? Such is the way of God.”
Today, in Ms. Pushett’s role at the The Center for Jewish Education, she goes around speaking about God with adults and children alike, using a program called “God Shopping” designed by Cantor Ellen Dreskin of White Plains, N.Y. The idea: to give people a vocabulary to talk about their relationship with God.
“That is the starting point and there is no right or wrong answer, but everyone can have a relationship with God that is unique and personal,” Ms. Pushett said. “Religious is not about keeping Shabbos, it’s whether you have a relationship with God. Having a relationship makes life easier.”
Out Of Faith
A llison (name changed) wasn’t very old when the first signs of clinical depression emerged. She was a happy child, connected to her synagogue and full of spiritual wonder, but as she got older, at times she would fall into periods of deep despair. The world would turn gray and all its beauty would disappear. She’d feel lost, alone and out of control.
As she aged, Allison found faith and her closeness with God is what helped her get through. Allison said when she’s teetering on the edge of depression, she remembers the Being out there that loves her unconditionally and that she can trust.
“Faith in God feels warm, joyful and comforting,” Allison said. “There are times in life when we can’t control what is going on around us. In those times, I remind myself just to give up control a little bit to God, to say, ‘I trust what needs to happen will happen, just the path I am meant to travel is beyond my comprehension.… Everything is OK because God is looking out for me.
“I made a promise to God that I wouldn’t allow myself to sink into deep despair and that sustains me.”
A llison’s situation is not an uncommon one. Clinical social worker Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin works with individuals and couples who are experiencing hardship or trauma. He said clients who have emunah have hope.
“If a person doesn’t believe in a higher power, it’s all dependent on them. If we have that belief, even if we feel out of control, we know there is something greater that can take us out of [a bad] situation,” he explained.
Psychotherapist Hillel Zeitlin said trauma can shatter a person’s world. Belief in a higher power is a belief in something that transcends all worlds and encompasses all worlds. He said when faith is present and a trauma takes place, the trauma may shatter one world, but there is a sense that the shattered world was one among many.
From a psychological perspective, having faith in God can be very useful. Alcoholics Anonymous, which is now non-denominational, was originally rooted in Christianity. Several of its 12 recovery steps call on addicts to connect with a higher power. Take Step Two — “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” and Step Three — “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Susan (who asked that her last name not be used) is a Jewish employee of Alcoholics Anonymous and a former alcoholic herself. She said many alcoholics come into AA with a great deal of despair and need a higher power to help them emerge.
“When I came into AA, I had a terrible drinking problem. I needed help and hope that I didn’t have to drink, and I found some sort of higher power to help me with that,” Susan said. “Alcoholism has a lot to do with self-centeredness and fear. What we are doing [by finding a higher power] is ego-deflation… having the confidence that whatever happens is God’s plan, bigger than me.”
Susan said AA outlines for former addicts a way to live and many of the steps reflect Jewish values and ideas. Steps four and five and eight and nine, for example, call on participants to take a moral inventory and make amends with those they have wronged, just like Jews do before Yom Kippur.
“It’s a spiritual quest,” Susan said. “You need a higher power to get through it. If you just have faith in yourself and you fall, you have faith in nothing.”
Mr. Zeitlin said everyone can use AA’s messages. People in AA need urgently to find a higher power because they realize they cannot live without one — “this is the reality for all of us, too.”
Just like in therapy, said Mr. Zeitlin, when there’s trauma, there’s a healing and a new beginning is possible, a new world can be built. On Rosh Hashanah, we can renew our faith in and relationship with God.
Said Mr. Zeitlin: “One of the deep aspects of the teachings of Rosh Hashanah is that we can begin our relationship with the higher power again. Even if there were flaws in whom we were as children, we get to start again and re-create our attitude with God as our parent and support.”
Faith Facts
Having emunah can offer the following benefits:
• Happiness
• Improved appearance, physical health, mental health and clarity of thought, judgment and decision-making
• Greater personal effectiveness
• Higher utilization of potential
• Increased popularity
• Better relationships, income and overall performance
• Heightened spiritual sensitivity
Source: “The Trail to Tranquility” by Lazer Brody (2008); reprinted with permission
Scientific Faith
Dr. Andy Goldfinger is a physicist who works for NASA and the Defense Department, currently working on the guidance system for the new moon landing. He told the BALTIMORE JEWISH TIMES, while physics can’t prove there is a God, understanding science certainly leads one to believe there is something greater than ourselves out there.
“I had a long talk with a colleague physicist who said he is an atheist and can explain everything he sees in the universe through the laws of physics, including the origins of the universe. Then my friend laughed and said, ‘Of course, that raises the question of where do the laws of physics come from?’” Dr. Goldfinger recalled.
Dr. Goldfinger said people like to believe the world is just what they see before their eyes; spiritual dimensions are considered nonsense. But in modern physics, there are nonsensical levels of the universe, which are accepted by physicists.
“I think it’s comforting to have things we can’t understand. It means we are not the masters of the universe. It’s like a baby that is not bothered by his lack of power because he knows his parents are there to take care of and love him,” Dr. Goldfinger said. “If we relax and stop trying to control everything, we can see we are loved and taken care of.”
— Maayan Jaffe
Baby Faith
Maayan Jaffe
Staff Reporter
I remember the day my husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first child. We took three home pregnancy tests and a blood test unable to believe it was true. (We knew how children were made, but couldn’t believe it was our turn to be parents.) But it was as Shlomo Raphael came into the world that my belief in God was confirmed.
How great God is that He makes woman pregnant, makes possible her solely sustaining a fetus’ life for nine months, but enables the child to know how to breathe air when he emerges from the womb.
I enjoyed each day with Shlomo — four years as an only child. Every time he achieved a milestone (like walking… er, running… at eight months!) I marveled at the gift God gave me.
When I became pregnant with my second, I again prepared for the pleasures of childbearing — knowing there was miraculously a life inside me. But the doctors were worried about my daughter. First they thought I didn’t have enough fluid. Then they thought she was too small. They regularly “threatened” to induce me — delivering her in their time and not necessarily b’sha’ah tova, the right time.
I started to become stressed, afraid. But one month before my daughter was due, on Rosh Hashanah, I spent two days in total reflection. I prayed and I digested that I would get whatever kind of child God intended. And as long as she was perfect as herself, she would be perfect. I had faith God was in charge, however, and He knew more than the doctors. I believed my daughter was OK.
When she was born 5 pounds, 9 ounces one day before her due date — totally healthy (and really beautiful) I named her accordingly. We call her Netanya Temima, “God gave us an unblemished one,” because that is indeed what God did.
Giving birth might be a peak for emunah. But you need emunah throughout the child-rearing years. Without faith in God, it’s all on you — good and bad. Is my child struggling with reading because I passed along bad genes or don’t have enough time to work with her? If he falls off the monkey bars, was I not standing close enough?
It’s OK to ask these questions — and we have to do our part — but I think we have to realize each child is born as his unique self. God gave him a one-of-a-kind genetic makeup so he can be the best he can be, special and successful in his own way.
We also have to have faith everything will be OK. If we know God has a Divine plan, we can let our children out to play, to school, and know Someone will be watching over and protecting them. (We can even shut the bathroom door or take a shower.) God is the ultimate parent, His eyes are always upon us and if we have emunah, we know He is taking care that things go as planned (the way He planned).
And God’s really close with children — they haven’t had a chance to pull away yet. We had a mini-tragedy the other day. My one-year-old toppled down the stairs. Thank God, she inexplicably landed on her hands and knees resulting only in the tiniest bruise on her little left knee. Needless to say, my heart skipped beats as I watched her fall.
After checking every inch of her head — 20 times — and speaking with the doctor — twice — I confirmed she was fine. I could only think… God saved her! There was an angel holding Netanya’s hand as she fell.
Emunah. I know not every Jew wants to admit faith or belief in God, but as a parent, I am not sure I could live without it. Every time one of my children trips and falls — but survives — or every time one says, “Mommy, I love you all the way up to the sky and back,” I know there is a God.
And I have faith.
Andy Cook
Staff Photographer