Comment
March 21, 2008
Wife Swap?
Meredith Jacobs
Special to the Jewish Times
If you think about it, the story of Purim is the first “Reality Show.” Gorgeous women living together in a castle, primping and preparing and ultimately competing for the chance to win their very own king! (Granted he’s a drunken fool, but that heightens the entertainment value!)
I have reality shows on my mind having recently received this e-mail from the associate producer for ABC’s “Wife Swap.”
For our 4th season, we are looking for unique Jewish families. I came across your site and thought you might be able to assist us by forwarding this email to anyone who might be interested. Out of pure coincidence, many of our families have come from a Christian background. We are eager to branch out and diversify the spectrum. There are many stereotypes of a Jewish mother, but the word “LOVING” seems to always come up. For this very reason, we want to find a loving, caring, fun and vibrant Jewish mother!…
Wife Swap is the series where two moms switch houses for six days and live in the shoes of the other woman. It’s a great experience for any open-minded family!
Honestly, I’ve never watched the show. From the commercials it seems as if the two families are as opposite as possible (to encourage conflict). One might say its high concept is: “Let’s set a wacko mom loose on a poor unsuspecting family.”
And now, the producers of the show were asking me to help them find a nice, “LOVING” Jewish mom for their show. (And offering me a $1,000 referral fee.)
So, what do I do?
On the one hand, maybe it’s a lovely show that helps create understanding and bridges the gap between opposing cultures.
Somehow I doubt that.
On the other hand, who am I to make decisions for my readers? Shouldn’t I spread information without imposing my value judgments and allow readers to decide to participate (and collect a $20,000 fee)?
On the third hand (moms have extra hands to do all the things we do!) maybe it is my job to not promote something I would not participate in. I find this kind of programming distasteful. And I can’t imagine the potential damage to participating families.
A friend suggested I try out; I was truly flattered by her comment that if someone could give a positive representation of a “Jewish mom” it would be me. However, you can’t control how these shows are edited. The producers know that audiences don’t want to watch nice families having positive interactions. They want blood.
And who would I be swapped with? What is the opposite of me?
I can only imagine — baking challah Friday morning in the kitchen of a pig farmer in a small town where I would be (for those six days of filming) the only Jew. And then what? I’d light Shabbes candles and bless their children in hopes of bringing shalom bayit into their home? Would that even be fair to them? After all, I wouldn’t want a gentile mom (as wonderful as she might be) saying grace with my family and maybe even doing a Bible study after dinner!
I can’t lay the blame solely on the producers of such shows. They are the supply to our demand. If I were a sociologist I would have a field day with the current television phenomenon. Is such programming our idea of “reality?” It’s not close to a reality I want for my children.
What’s a mom to do? Here’s a thought ... Monitor what her children are watching and, oh yeah, definitely NOT swap with another family.