Comments (0)Chanukah’s Lasting Gift
December 18, 2009Rabbi Jerry H. Seidler
Special to the Jewish Times
Chanukah, which ends at sundown after Shabbat, is a joyful holiday. It is our festival of light, a time to rejoice over the miraculous feat our ancestors accomplished in saving Judaism from Hellenist paganism and aggression. We sing of the Maccabees, light the menorah, eat seasonal delicacies and shower gifts large and small upon loved ones and friends.
Amidst the gelt and other presents we share this year, I suggest giving ourselves and our families a special gift. I am asking us to think about, discuss and make out medical advance directives (living wills and medical powers of attorney) for Chanukah.
No one is too young or too old for medical advance directives. It is, I contend, an appropriate and timely gift. After all, Chanukah celebrates the rededication of our religious spirit, and Judaism is first and foremost a life-affirming religious path.
However, Judaism does not shy from the reality of our mortality. Whether it is the Psalmist or Rebbe Nachman, Judaism teaches us not to fear death, but to embrace life courageously as G-d’s most precious gift to us. Putting together medical advance directives for oneself, or assisting a family member in doing so, is a gift of rededicating our appreciation for the mortal lives we are blessed to live.
Medical advance directives are not products of death panels, neither do they signal any lack of faith in divine will or the sacredness of life. Living wills and medical powers of attorney declare how we want to live at those critical, liminal moments of existential uncertainty, and also how we want to be treated when the end of our days is upon us. G-d is the healer of all flesh and the doer of wonders, as the morning Yatzar prayer observes, but our sacred human life is nonetheless finite.
Whatever our beliefs, we all must acknowledge that our embodied time on earth is limited. The question is how we negotiate our care when death may be imminent.
Every day, my rabbinate leads me to be with ordinary people who must make agonizing decisions involving their own or a loved one’s medical treatment. An adult daughter is asked to sign a DNR-DNI (do not resuscitate - do not intubate, i.e., not to intervene medically should the heart or breathing fail) for her aged mother. A husband must ponder if he should commence dialysis for his wife who suffers from dementia. A young cancer patient debates whether to consent to a risky surgery that offers no cure but may provide some more time to live, or to go straight away to hospice where death will close in shortly.
These scenarios occur daily to people like you and me, our parents, our siblings, our children, our spouses and our neighbors.
Many people needlessly confront these excruciating situations virtually unprepared. Who wants to worry about “what if” when all seems well and fine? Yet, the worst moment to think about these matters for the first time is precisely when the “what if” moment blows up in our faces. We are too emotionally charged with fear, guilt, doubt and aloneness to begin thinking about end-of-life care. And believe me, there are enough other stressors going on that leave little room for serious theological and moral reflection.
Jewish ethicists do not approach medical and end-of-life care issues the same way. So it is a good idea to speak with a rabbi or other trusted adviser and, of course, to read up on these subjects. Seeking out family and friends who have already gone through these struggles is also very helpful.
All streams of Judaism have something to offer concerning advance medical directives. Jewish organizations even have materials online (jlaw.com/Forum/ for an Orthodox example, and rabbinicalassembly.org/docs/medical%20directives.pdf for a Conservative one). The Maryland attorney general offers a useful secular example, too (oag.state.med.us/Healthpol/adirective.pdf ).
May you never have to use this gift. But you should lovingly give it this year.
Rabbi Jerry H. Seidler serves LifeBridge Health as staff chaplain and is a member of the Baltimore Board of Rabbis. Opinions expressed in the column do not necessarily reflect those of the Baltimore Board of Rabbis, its members or LifeBridge Health.