Barbara Schaftel, a fearless spirit who lived with purpose, grace and boundless energy — from parachuting out of a plane at 16,500 feet to tutoring adults with dyslexia — died June 26, just two days after her 90th birthday.
Born June 24, 1935, in Baltimore, Schaftel was one of five children raised in a modest, close-knit Jewish household. Her father, Harold Lessans, served in World War II and later owned a bar downtown. Her childhood was shaped by tight quarters and strong family values.
“She grew up with very humble beginnings,” her son Ronnie Schaftel said. “Her father and uncles came back from the war and all lived in the same small house. She made nothing of it. That was just life.”
Barbara met her husband, Stuart Schaftel, at a public pool when she was 18. He wore a suit to work, a detail that impressed her, and they married in 1954. Together, they raised five children over 67 years of marriage. Stuart was an insurance agency owner who died in 2021.
Ronnie described his mother as selfless and unfailingly kind. “She never said anything bad about anybody,” he said. “She didn’t gossip. She was friendly to everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.”
The home she built was filled with Jewish tradition and pride. Her children were bar and bat mitzvahed at Baltimore Hebrew Congregation, where the family was active. Years later, after her daughter had decided against a bat mitzvah as a teen, the two studied together and celebrated a joint bat mitzvah in adulthood. “It was lovely,” Starr Wayne recalled. “We went through it just like any two kids would, only it was me and my mom.”
Barbara’s Jewish identity also shaped her civic involvement. In her 20s, she raised funds for the Associated Jewish Charities. Later, while raising her children, she found time to help resettle Russian Jewish families in Baltimore. “She had five little kids,” her son Ronnie said, “but somehow she still found time to volunteer.”
She also volunteered at Rosewood State Hospital and helped teens and young adults with dyslexia during winters in West Palm Beach. Her son Jimmy Schaftel called her a humanitarian. “She had a gift for making people better just by knowing her.”
Though she didn’t attend college, Barbara was intellectually curious and always learning. After her children were grown, she launched a successful career in real estate and became the first woman to lead the Baltimore Realtors Association. She had a natural gift for connecting with people. “She just made it look easy,” Jimmy said. “She knew how to close, but she was never pushy, just warm and sincere.”
That same drive and independence defined Barbara’s entire life. She earned her pilot’s license at Baltimore’s Martin State Airport and flew solo flights, navigating by sight and short-range radio systems before GPS. She hiked to Namche Bazaar in Nepal and to Machu Picchu in Peru. She once went whitewater rafting on the Urubamba River in Peru and fished for marlin 70 miles off the coast of Ocean City.
Starr remembered how her mother dove into the world of boating despite not knowing how to swim. Barbara went on to take Coast Guard navigation classes, often the only woman in the room, and earned one of the highest civilian certifications offered.
“She did things because she wanted to, not to impress anyone,” Starr said.
Her adventurous streak extended into her later years. At 69, she jumped out of a plane in a tandem skydive over Colorado. At 88, she joined the acting troupe at her independent living community, bringing the same fearless, full-hearted energy to the stage that she had shown throughout her life.
Barbara’s life was also defined by her fierce moral compass. Daughter Starr recalled how she stood up to antisemitic jokes in her real estate office in the 1970s. “She would say something,” she said. “She wouldn’t pretend she didn’t hear it or walk away. That was who she was.”
In 2021, Barbara relocated to Denver to be closer to her children. There, she remained active and vibrant, dining with friends, participating in programs and still charming everyone she met. “She had this quiet magnetism,” Jimmy said. “People were drawn to her. She made you feel good.”
Her final chapter came swiftly. On May 20, she was diagnosed with uterine cancer and given one to two months to live. True to form, she faced the news with remarkable calm. “She took it like a champ,” Jimmy said. “She had such courage. She lived totally in the present.”
“She told me, ‘I’ve had such an incredible life. I have no regrets,’” Ronnie added. “And she wasn’t afraid to die.”
Barbara passed away peacefully on June 26, surrounded by family. She had lived exactly as she intended, joyfully, meaningfully and on her own terms.
“She was most proud that all five of her children turned out well,” Starr said. “We’re all different, but we respect each other and we’re close. That was all her.”
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
