Cantor Stephanie Weishaar of Kol Nefesh considers the cantorate her “encore career,” having only entered seminary when she was in her forties after a long career spent working as a grant writer for nonprofit organizations in Eastern Europe. She never could have guessed that she would become a foundational part of the Columbia-based Reform congregation, where she first entered into a leadership role when they had been operating only for about two years.
Fast-forward a decade and Kol Nefesh recently held a concert to celebrate Weishaar’s 10 years of service. “Celebrating 10 Years of Cantor Stephanie Through Music” took place on Dec. 14, and served as not only a commemoration of everything Weishaar has done for the congregation but also a look back at her time there and a peek into the future of Kol Nefesh’s leadership.
Kol Nefesh was founded by a group of Columbia parents who did not feel that other congregations in the area fit their needs. Official co-founders and former co-presidents Matt and Erica Aument led monthly services during the congregation’s first two years of operation. But Kol Nefesh had been steadily growing and it became clear that they needed a formal spiritual leader.
“I started to realize around the High Holidays that we really needed to start thinking about the temple and how it could provide more services beyond what lay leadership could do,” Matt Aument recalled. “It was interesting because, at the same time, Bet Aviv,” a congregation also housed in the Oakland Mills Interfaith Center, where Kol Nefesh is located, “was going through a search for a new cantor as well. We interviewed some of the candidates they didn’t hire. … We decided that Stephanie was the best fit for us because many of our families are interfaith and she’s from an interfaith family herself.”
He added that in Howard County the majority of the Jewish population is not affiliated with any particular synagogue. One of Kol Nefesh’s initial goals was to create a space where Jewish community members could engage with the religion on whatever level they felt comfortable with, whether they wished to attend every Shabbat service or only send their children to Sunday school.
At the time, the oldest children at Kol Nefesh were only 10 years old, and Weishaar was raising her own children herself.
“I stepped into leadership as someone who intimately understands the way they are raising their kids with Judaism as one of several important components in identity,” she explained.
Weishaar is in somewhat of a unique position. She acts as Kol Nefesh’s rabbi, cantor and one of its Hebrew school teachers, part of its adult education programs. On top of all this, she represents the synagogue in Howard County’s Jewish community, serving on the Howard County Board of Jewish Clergy and the Oakland Mills Interfaith clergy group. And just this past July, she became the board chair of ALEPH: Alliance for Jewish Renewal.
Weishaar says that while she juggles more responsibilities than a typical cantor would, the fact that Kol Nefesh is still a fairly small, intimate congregation helps to lighten the load somewhat.
“It is a lot, but it’s a labor of love,” she added.
Aument notes that while he and the other founding members of Kol Nefesh did not really know what they were looking for when they set out to recruit a spiritual leader, Weishaar proved to be a perfect fit.
“She was able to grow with us and really figure out what she wanted to be as a leader and figure out what we needed as a leader, as well,” he said. “We were trying to create a community where parents and kids could be involved in a manner that was spiritually right for them. With Stephanie’s help, we’ve been able to address a small part of that and be successful at it, and we really enjoy the niche that we’ve carved out in the county.”
Of course, Kol Nefesh has not only been successful because of Weishaar’s leadership. She says that it’s also because of the congregants’ efforts, especially the younger congregants and b’nai mitzvah students. Since she started at Kol Nefesh, Weishaar has seen 32 children become young adults at their b’nai mitzvah ceremony.
“I’ve been blessed with a wonderful playground at Kol Nefesh where I could bring new ideas and see what resonated with folks,” Weishaar said. “Looking ahead, I hope that we continue to support families and individuals who want to explore Judaism in a joyful, meaningful way that fits into their busy life. I don’t know where this path will lead, but as long as I can serve people who appreciate what I offer, I’ll continue to share my gifts with this lovely and warm community.”
