By Gavin Miller
My school — Krieger Schechter Day School — has a b’nai mitzvah policy. You can either invite up to 12 students or, if you want more, you have to invite your whole grade. To me, the choice was clear: invite the whole grade. Why? More presents, of course! Just kidding. To me, including everyone just felt like a good thing to do.
I didn’t know it at the time, but my decision wasn’t just a good thing. It was also a holy thing, as God commands in my special Torah portion for Shavuot: “You shall rejoice before Hashem your God … you with your sons and daughters, your male and female slaves, the Levites who are in your gates, the strangers, the orphans and the widows who are in your midst.” (Deuteronomy 16:11)
To me, God is saying: “Invite everyone!” Rabbi Marshal taught me that the sages called this holy invite hachnasat orchim, welcoming guests. Because moments of celebration shouldn’t be seen as private occasions but public opportunities to celebrate the gifts we get from God. Besides, I feel like life is better when it’s shared with others.
For example, happy times become even happier with others. But you can’t just expect people to show up. You must invite them. Once there, introduce them to each other and create connections. It also won’t hurt to offer them food and games. Because they’re going to offer you something even better: their smiles, their joy, their energy … making these happy times even happier.
And it’s not just happy occasions that become better when shared; it’s also sad ones. For example, when we lose a big game or when a pet dies — these moments break our hearts. Yet when they’re shared with others, we receive comfort. Our friends, our family, help us pick up the pieces. They hold us together. They may not get rid of the sadness, but what they do is help us get through it.
I experienced this on the saddest day of my life. It was the day my dog, Maya, died. She was old. And, one day — after a walk — she just laid on the grass and wouldn’t get up. Mom and Dad asked if we wanted to go to the vet to say goodbye. As hard as it was, I chose to go.
Honestly, the sadness was a lot. It nearly overwhelmed us. Nearly. But it didn’t. Why? Because we had each other. We had each other to lean upon, to hold onto. As much as I wish we could get rid of the sadness, none of us could. It was and is still part of us. But, by being together, we have found a way through it.
So, think about this: What if we’d spent these moments alone? What if no one joined our holiday celebrations? What if no one came to our birthday parties? What if there was no one to lean upon in difficult times? I think, if this were to happen, holiday candles would lose their warmth, cake would be left to spoil and we’d get stuck in the sadness, unable to move forward.
My friends, that’s not the life God is asking us to live. In my Torah portion, God is saying: “Come on! Hang out with each other! Open your homes and hearts to one another!” Sure. There’s still time for privacy. But there’s also times — like today — when it is a blessing to come together in celebration. Because, as I said: “Life is better when shared with others.”
Let’s go live this better life.
Gavin Miller is a seventh-grade student at Krieger Schechter Day School.
