On Saturday mornings, Nathaniel “Nate” Conn laced up his sneakers and headed to Patterson Park in Southeast Baltimore for pickup soccer. He liked the regular group of players who showed up, many from different countries, and the chance to compete without keeping score. He went for the game and for the people.
Those mornings were part of a life that included both joy and severe mental illness. Nate lived for years with schizoaffective disorder, a condition that combines symptoms of schizophrenia, like hearing voices, with mood disorder.
He died unexpectedly on Dec. 28 during a family ski trip after suffering sudden cardiac arrest. He was 33.
In interviews, his brother, Zachary “Zach” Conn, and parents, Lawrence “Larry” and Barbara “Barb” Conn, described a life that was active, social and rooted in Jewish family life.
While Zach described himself in childhood as “nervous, sensitive, socially anxious,” he said young Nate was “the opposite.” He was popular and welcoming, an “excellent athlete, especially in soccer — kind of lightning fast,” and someone with “a strong sense of justice.”
That sense of justice showed up early. In fourth grade, when a teacher assigned extra homework to the entire class because a few students had misbehaved, Nate objected.
“Nate put his hand up and lawyered him out of it,” Zach said. The teacher reconsidered. “Everybody clapped.”
He grew up in the Baltimore area, attending Fort Garrison Elementary School, Sudbrook Magnet Middle School and later the Shoshana S. Cardin Jewish Day School. He played travel soccer with the Pikesville Soccer Club and for his high school team.
Zach and Nate were born 20 months apart — Zach in July 1990 and Nate in April 1992 — and remained close. They shared what Zach called “Jewish and progressive values,” a love of the Ravens, and music — Zach on guitar, Nate on drums. They also shared long conversations about politics and history, interests encouraged at home by two parents who were avid readers.
Barb, a retired elementary school teacher and reading specialist, and Larry, a retired attorney, filled the house with books and took their sons to museums and historic sites.
At age 14, Nate began experiencing symptoms that led to his psychiatric diagnosis. With medical treatment and family support, he continued forward. He maintained friendships and built a daily life that worked for him.
After completing high school, Nate took a gap year before college. He worked with Jewish Community Services, playing chess weekly with a patient at Levindale Hebrew Geriatric Center and giving his time to the Jewish Museum of Maryland.
Nate continued his education at McDaniel College in Westminster, where he majored in history. He lived at home his first year before moving in with friends. He graduated in 2015 with a bachelor’s degree. “He was very, very proud” to graduate, Barb said.
After college, he pursued an IT certification. His father described the exam as “very difficult.” Nate studied even when he was not feeling well and passed it. His mother said the achievement meant a great deal to him.
He later used those skills as a volunteer for NAMI Baltimore (National Alliance on Mental Illness). He also volunteered to support programming at the Johns Hopkins Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, helping with computer systems.
His relationships mattered most. A lifelong friend, Alexander “Alex” Robinson, met Nate on the first day of first grade. They remained close for nearly three decades.
“Nate was just really … the sweetest, kindest person you could ever really have met,” Alex said.
Alex, now a therapist, said knowing Nate shaped how he approaches his profession. He spoke of learning “unconditional acceptance and warm regard” and “how to make people feel seen and heard and understood.”
“I never viewed Nate as his problems,” Alex said. “I always just viewed him as Nate.”
The two traveled together, including a trip to Las Vegas and Zion National Park. Alex said the trip was “really a highlight,” giving Nate the chance to see new places and spend uninterrupted time with a close friend.
Barb said her son found happiness in everyday things: “having a great meal,” cheering on his teams, and spending time with his closest friends — Alex and Max Seigel, also a therapist, — and with extended family.
Jewish life anchored the family. Nate was bar mitzvahed at Beth El Congregation in Pikesville, where Barb grew up and where she and Larry were married. Holidays meant large family gatherings. Barb hosted the Passover seder each year. “He loved that,” she said. They lit Shabbat candles. Chanukah brought cousins, aunts and uncles together.
Nate traveled to Israel twice — first on Birthright and later for a longer program during which he lived in Tel Aviv. Zach said Nate was “proud to be Jewish” and interested in the history of Israel.
In a Mother’s Day letter Barb rediscovered after his death, Nate wrote: “Thank you so much for raising me Jewish so that I can feel connected to the Jewish people and to God.”
His parents said that even during trying periods, Nate remained attentive to the people around him. He asked about others. He noticed small efforts.
“He never complained despite the difficulties of his illness and the treatment for his illness,” his father said.
His mother said he often thanked her for taking him to appointments or sitting with him through long, hard days. “He would say, ‘Thank you for taking me,’” she recalled. “Just incredibly sweet.”
Larry said his son lived by a simple principle the family came to call “Nateism,” a phrase that captured how he tried to move through the world.
“Have fun and help others,” he would say.
Ellen Braunstein is a freelance writer.
