By Rabbi Michael Werbow
This week’s Torah portion is Ki Tavo:Deuteronomy 26:1 — 29:8
Passover is perhaps the most celebrated holiday in our tradition. Why, you might ask, is he sharing about Passover as we are nearing the holidays of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur and Sukkot? We’ll get there.
It turns out that our Passover ritual is deeply rooted not in the book of Exodus, as one might assume, but in a seemingly obscure passage from Ki Tavo, this week’s Torah portion.
This passage, beginning with the words “Arami Oved Avi” — “My father was a wandering Aramean” (Deut. 26:5) — is the same text we recite at the Seder. It’s a powerful story of our ancestors’ descent into Egypt, the oppression they endured, their cry to God and their ultimate redemption.
It is strange that the rabbis choose this text from Deuteronomy over the dramatic narratives of Exodus. A passage in the Midrash offers a crucial clue.
It indicates how the ritual of bringing the first fruits to the Temple, which this passage describes, was meant to be a public declaration. However, some people, embarrassed by their lack of knowledge or their humble offerings, began to hold back.
In response, the Sages decided that everyone — both the knowledgeable and the unlearned — would simply repeat the words after the priest. This act removed the shame and ensured that no one would be deterred from participating.
This Jewish commitment to protecting individuals from embarrassment is powerful and persistent. Another example is in our burial rituals where the universal use of simple shrouds ensures that no one is shamed by their inability to afford a lavish burial.
In Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of Our Ancestors, we are taught, “A bashful person cannot learn, and a person who embarrasses others cannot teach.”
A teacher causing embarrassment stunts a student’s curiosity. But, just as importantly, a bashful student, afraid to risk a question or make a mistake, can also never truly learn.
Fear and shame are powerful deterrents to growth.
So how do we overcome this fear? One way is by changing our perspective. Instead of being concerned about failure, we could try to imagine what would be so bad about not succeeding.
What is the worst that could happen?
Fear of embarrassment can keep us from fully living our lives. We don’t try new experiences because we are afraid we don’t have the base knowledge or physical ability to be successful.
We feel like we have to measure up to others who have more experience. We have an elevated picture of what being 100% proficient looks like, so we don’t allow ourselves the chance to start at a beginner’s level and slowly work our way up.
We have long held messages in our heads that we are not artistic, not musical, not athletic, so we shy away from activities that include any of these.
Just as in the time of the Temple, when someone brought the first fruit, they were supported by the priest and would repeat the declaration word by word, we can get support to engage in activities in which we are not proficient and have experiences we never would have thought possible.
So, while earlier I focused on Passover, this really is a Rosh Hashanah message. As we approach the new year, what is something you have been embarrassed to do in the past but can find support to try?
What is something you have shied away from but in 5786 you will put aside potential embarrassment and take a chance? Let’s each try something new for the new year.
Rabbi Michael Werbow is the rabbi at Tifereth Israel Congregation in Washington, D.C.
