Three men — Dennis, Mike and Jim — formed an optimistic bond with one another, connected through their shared journey of younger-onset dementia.
Their experience forms part of Richie Frieman’s new book, which details Frieman’s experience of the men’s friendship and of many more whose lives have been touched by dementia. Frieman, a Jewish resident of Owings Mills, is an author and artist.
The title of his latest book, “The Optimistics,” was drawn from the affectionate moniker that Dennis, Mike and Jim used for each other “as a way to fight back against the stigma of their disease,” Frieman, 45, said.
Each chapter of “The Optimistics” delves into Frieman’s emotional encounters with those affected by dementia. Over two years, he conducted interviews with the three friends, dozens of care partners and individuals with dementia across the country to share their unwavering desire to remain optimistic in the face of an incurable disease.
Being an author is one of Frieman’s many careers. St. Martin’s Press called him a modern-day Renaissance Man. Frieman has been an artist, columnist, journalist, entrepreneur and inventor. For eight years, he wrestled professionally under the name, “The Thrill from Israel” Buster Maccabi.
Born in Richmond, Virginia, Frieman was raised in Owings Mills and attended Hebrew school at Beth Israel Congregation.
He went to the University of Maryland, College Park, graduating in 2001 with a degree in fine arts.
After graduation, Frieman dove head first into a career in the arts, immersing himself in all areas of illustration, painting, graphics, sculpture and literature.
In 2010, Macmillan Publishing tapped Frieman to become the Modern Manners Guy — the host of a humorous weekly column and podcast about manners and etiquette.
Based on the success of Modern Manners Guy, St. Martin’s Press commissioned Frieman to write a book about professional etiquette in the workplace. The result was, “Reply All… And Other Ways to Tank Your Career.” It features Frieman’s insight about manners in the workplace, along with interviews he conducted with some famous CEOs.
“It really opened up to a new form of my comedy and my sense of humor that people could enjoy,” Frieman said.
Frieman has a wife and two children, ages 16 and 12. Prior to COVID, they belonged to Temple Oheb Shalom. Their organized Jewish life became disrupted by the pandemic, but Frieman said their Jewish values have never been stronger.
“We observe the High Holidays, but we look at it as observing our religion in our own way,” he said. “It’s about faith and family and the more spiritual side of Judaism. We’re teaching our kids the same kind of values.”
Frieman had an official launch of “The Optimistics” on June 21, which marks the longest day of the year and is a special annual date recognized by the Alzheimer’s Association.
He is donating a portion of the proceeds from his book sales and speaking engagements to the Alzheimer’s Association and YES! Young-Onset Dementia Education and Support.
“Anything I can do to get the message out about ‘The Optimistics’ and what the Alzheimer’s Association does is my mission,” Frieman said.
Growing up, he recalls that his grandmother had Alzheimer’s disease. “She was in her 80s at the time, and it really left an impact on me,” said Frieman, who writes about her in his book.
Every Shabbat, the family visited her. She transitioned from not feeling well to having outbursts. “It’s a very nasty disease to watch,” Frieman recalled.
About two years ago, during the Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Hunt Valley, he met Dennis, a speaker at the event. “He was all about making sure to live life to the fullest. I was just overwhelmed with that. I had no idea this is something that can affect people in their 40s and 50s. You quit your job, you can’t work, you can’t drive and how do you remain optimistic about that?” Frieman said.
He reached out to Dennis’ wife on Facebook. “I said, hey, look, I’m a stranger and I’m an author. I think there is something here. I would just love the opportunity to talk more. I’d like to tell your story.”
He was invited to a YES organization meeting in Towson. “I met other people that were like them, that when you look at them, you have no idea that they’re battling this disease.
“We have images of somebody sitting in the shadows in a corner. But that’s not this,” Frieman said. “These are people that look like my peers.”
