Zoe Bell and Mia Resnicow | Staff Writers
As early as her grandchildren could talk, Debra Weinberg would ask them, “What’s something good you did for someone else today?” at the family dinner table.
“Everyone from the youngest to the oldest has something to say, and they learn very quickly about how we as Jews are responsible for each other and for repairing the world,” Weinberg said.
The grandmother of four also helps prepare the Shabbat meal when she visits her children and grandchildren on Fridays, traveling from her Owings Mills home to Washington, D.C. She sees this gesture as a way to strengthen the next generation of her Jewish family.
Like Weinberg, the estimated 1.4 million Jewish grandparents in the United States today play a large role in shaping Jewish life. The growing number of adults ages 55-plus prompted the Jewish Grandparents Network to host the largest global virtual gathering of Jewish grandparents, the network’s first of its kind, on Jan. 27.
“We see the essential role that grandparents play in the Jewish future and in raising a Jewish family,” said Weinberg, the executive director of the Jewish Grandparents Network.
According to Graham Hoffman, chair of the event’s planning committee, the Jewish Grandparents Network conducted a study that indicated a number of different interests that Jewish grandparents had, including a desire for shared learning and resources around ways to make Jewish rituals meaningful for their grandchildren.
“We designed a day of learning, which was meant to be an opportunity for grandparents to choose the areas that they were most interested in,” he said. “In order to try to draw as many of their Jewish grandparents as possible beyond our regular lists, we selected a keynote speaker, Dr. Becky Kennedy, to speak to parenting in today’s contemporary understanding of parenting and how to bridge the multi-generational divide between grandchildren, children and grandparents.”
Some of the virtual sessions included building relationships with grandchildren who live far away, crafting meaningful moments with grandchildren, reimagining Jewish ritual and navigating multifaith and mixed heritage Jewish families.
“The Learning Fest was welcoming, informative, and the variety of topics was certainly relevant to a broad range of grandparents,” said Shelley Hendler of Baltimore, who attended. “There was something for everyone. I really enjoyed Dr. Kennedy’s presentation. And as a real bonus, the Learning Fest truly served as a connector. I chatted with a friend who I haven’t seen in years, and we made plans to get together.”
For local grandparents, involving themselves in family Jewish traditions is a mitzvah.
Weinberg said she enjoys preparing the Shabbat meal for her daughters’ families on Fridays because helping out eases the burden on busy parents.
“Parents are really busy today, and they are involved in so many things in their children’s lives,” Weinberg said. “If grandparents can be helpful and can focus on the Jewish family, I think it strengthens the Jewish family.”
She added that helping cook gives her a purpose, thereby improving her well-being. “I feel like I’m passing on Jewish joy,” Weinberg said. “It also creates the ritual of Shabbat, and different rituals really provide opportunities for grandchildren and grandparents to be together in a meaningful way.”
When grandkids get older, another challenge can arise when discussing Israel, a topic that came up during the Jewish Grandparents Network’s Learning Fest. Jonathan Kessler, the founder and CEO of Heart of a Nation, who presented at the webinar, spoke to this generational gap.
“Grandparents have known that Israeli leadership has been Likud and Labor, and has changed. We’ve seen that in our lifetime,” Weinberg said. “We know if you disagree with [Prime Minister Benjamin] Netanyahu and with the Israeli leadership right now, this is temporary. But for our grandchildren, Netanyahu, who has been in power for decades, is all they know.”
She added that grandparents have “context” that younger people may lack due to their age.
Hoffman added that while Baltimore’s Jewish infrastructure has a far reach, the Jewish Grandparents Network is about more than just what is geographically convenient.
“It’s not as simple as just building something and everyone showing up. We have to really think strategically about how to understand the needs and how to meet those needs in a more geographically spread out and disparate type of a community,” he said. “There’s not such a rich experience of really tailoring offerings to Jewish grandparents, despite there being lots of Jewish infrastructure.”
